THE GOVERNMENT OF COMMITTEES

A story is told of a country- the country called Niagaria. Blessed
with human and natural resources. A giant in its own right, holding its place among the comity of nations as a force to reckon with.


As great as this country was, it had a government that controlled the affairs of its people. The head of this government who doubled as the president of the nation was a certain Mr. Jolatan.


Folklore from our ancestors reveal that Mr. Jolatan was a known
glutton- he loved food. It was also on record that he consumed 1billion
maira ("Maira" was the currency used by the people of Niagaria) worth
of food a year and was cluless as the word "clueless" could mean.


But Mr. Jolatan was a man of action. And because of this, he was
greatly loved by the citizens of the country. One of such actions
which Mr. Jolatan was admired for was his love for the setting up of
committees.


No sooner had an event/incident occured in the country, and a
committee would be hurridely set up to "look into the matter and
submit a white paper" (as if they would ever use a green one).


When the men of evil and destruction (an islamic extremist group
called the Moko-Baram) came calling, in his usual character, Mr.
Jolatan set up a committee to come up with "lasting solutions to the
matter". Nothing was heard of the findings thereafter.


Despite the obvious futility recorded by the "committee approach", and being a naturally stubborn person, Mr. Jolatan stuck to his guns and
continued to keep faith in its success like a certain Ambriomavich in a fooballer of that time called Tolles.


In the long run, the faith paid off. The result was the establishment
of more committees and the stacking of the presidential library with white papers. Thus, A4 white papers became scarce and very expensive
to obtain by those who made a living from the printing business.


It was therefore not uncommon to find committees for Works and
Transport; Youth and Social Development and a committee for sport.


Other committees set up include a Committee to look into the breakfast of the President making sure he ate balanced diet in the mornings; a committee to inspect the broken toilet seat of the presidential villa and a special sub-committee (whatever that means) to inspect the beans
seedlings in the garden of the first lady, all at the expenses of tax payers.


Funny as this may sound, it was actually true. My grandpa who told me this story couldn't have been lying.


Citizens, likewise patriots of the country who tried telling
president that his actions were not bringing the desired results were persecuted and considered traitors.


Money was fleeced from the country at an alarming rate and
poverty continued to grip the nation by the throat, the country lost its greatness and became an object of riddicle.

This is the story of Naigaria as was passed down to me by the elders. Indeed, there was a country.

(the writer can be found on twitter @olubayo1)